The day of 9/11 I was a senior at Saint Michael's Catholic Academy in Austin, Texas. My memories of that day are scattered and colorful. I remember Father Payne made an announcement over the school's PA system when the first plane hit the towers, and then the second.
I remember a TV was wheeled into Dr. Kinch's A.P. English class, and I saw an image that is still burned into my mind today, that of a tiny shadowy figure leaping out of the towers, tumbling out into an ashy grey sky like a doll, and then spiraling down, down below. I remember a tiny tie fluttering in the wind. And all we could whisper was, "Oh, my God..." but we weren't saying it in that cliche way it's most often used; we were actually calling on God.
I also remember a classmate sitting at the desk next to me, a classmate whom my 18 year-old self was disgusted with; he appeared to be using the break from our normal classwork to take a morning nap with his head down on the desk while the rest of us sat with our eyes glued to the news. Now as an adult, I wonder if it was just a cover -- that maybe he put his head down to hide that he was crying. And my heart now goes out to that kid, because children, youth, and adults alike were all struggling to understand and to grasp the enormity of that day.
Then the last announcement from Father Payne came over the PA, and it sounded different from the rest. He did not give us any new information. He simply urged us all to pray. Many of us began walking to the chapel, and I ended up walking beside Dr. Kinch, my favorite teacher. I remember saying to him, "I don't think all of us (my classmates) really understand what this means," but what I was really saying is, "Please tell me what's going on! I'm scared! What does this mean?" And he just shook his head with such gravity, I knew then that even Dr. Kinch -- the smartest guy I knew -- was lost and afraid. And that scared me even more.
Ten years later, I am no longer a teen. I'm married with a child of my own, a son who will have no memories of that day. And I ask myself the question we've all been asking, but this time I ask it for my son: Are we safer? Are we wiser?
And I wonder... I have this fantasy in my mind... maybe you'll think I'm naive or a silly idealist, but what if after 9/11, we had had an insurgence not of our forces, but with the love of Christ? I'm not saying we could have or even should have converted anyone to Christianity. I'm just saying, what if we had followed Jesus' advice on this one? What if we had, as Jesus commanded us in the Sermon on the Mount, loved our enemy and blessed those who persecuted us? What if we had spent every single dime of that 3.7 trillion dollars that we've sent overseas on blessing our enemies -- not on bombs, or on tanks, or on guns -- but only on educating their children, feeding their hungry, housing their homeless, clothing their naked, healing their sick, and visiting their imprisoned? What if we had trusted Jesus and followed his advice on this one? What if we had listened to his last command in the Garden of Gethsemane to put down our swords? What if we had turned the other cheek, walked the extra mile, and given our coat also? What if we trusted the Bible, which clearly tells us vengeance belongs only to God? What if we had followed Christ's command to overcome hate with love?
Instead, we did the very thing God told us not to do; we retaliated. We took vengeance into our own hands; we chose, instead, an eye for an eye, as if Jesus hadn't told us any better.
I believe in a living God that doesn't just speak pretty words to us; I believe in a God of Wisdom who's commands are Truth and who's commands are are more than just a nice thought; they work. And looking back, I think God knew how to handle this one better than we did. I wish we had followed God's advice on this one.
Ten years from the day, 9/11 continues. The families continue to suffer. We continue to remember. The bloodshed continues, and the death toll from all this warfare these past ten years has been equivalent to the Twin Towers falling down again twice more. Any wiser? I think not. Any safer? Hard to say.
But there is good news. Today at church in a wonderful service we lit candles of hope. We sang, "Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me." Rev. Ng reminded us of who we are as people of God and people of this great nation. The good news is although we need repentance, it's never too late to change course and follow God's commands. It's never to late to step out of this toxic climate of fear and division, to opt out of the cycle of violence and vengeance, and to step into God's grace. As Rev. Ng reminded us today, there was a time when slavery was just accepted as a part of the way the country worked, but now we know it to be an unnecessary evil. The same should be for warfare. Peace isn't just an idealists' dream; it's a real possibility and a command of God.
