Walking with Grief

Came across this while doing funeral and memorial service preparations this weekend. I may use it for All Saints and All Souls Sunday in October:

Walking with Grief

Do not hurry

as you walk with grief;

it does not help the journey.

Walk slowly

pausing often:

do not hurry

as you walk with grief.

Be not disturbed

by memories that come unbidden.

Swiftly forgive;

and let Christ speak for you

unspoken words.

Unfinished conversation

will be resolved in Him.

Be not disturbed.

Be gentle with the one

who walks with grief.

If it is you,

be gentle with yourself.

Swiftly forgive;

walk slowly,

pausing often.

Take time, be gentle

as you walk with grief.

Adapted from a passage in David Elginbrod, by George MacDonald

Muslim beliefs inspire Richardson doctor’s free medical clinics | Dallas-Fort Worth Communities - News for Dallas, Texas - The Dallas Morning News

Muslim beliefs inspire Richardson doctor’s free medical clinics | Dallas-Fort Worth Communities - News for Dallas, Texas - The Dallas Morning News

Faith in Action!

One Reflection on 9/11, 10 Years Later

The day of 9/11 I was a senior at Saint Michael's Catholic Academy in Austin, Texas. My memories of that day are scattered and colorful. I remember Father Payne made an announcement over the school's PA system when the first plane hit the towers, and then the second.

I remember a TV was wheeled into Dr. Kinch's A.P. English class, and I saw an image that is still burned into my mind today, that of a tiny shadowy figure leaping out of the towers, tumbling out into an ashy grey sky like a doll, and then spiraling down, down below. I remember a tiny tie fluttering in the wind. And all we could whisper was, "Oh, my God..." but we weren't saying it in that cliche way it's most often used; we were actually calling on God.

I also remember a classmate sitting at the desk next to me, a classmate whom my 18 year-old self was disgusted with; he appeared to be using the break from our normal classwork to take a morning nap with his head down on the desk while the rest of us sat with our eyes glued to the news. Now as an adult, I wonder if it was just a cover -- that maybe he put his head down to hide that he was crying. And my heart now goes out to that kid, because children, youth, and adults alike were all struggling to understand and to grasp the enormity of that day.

Then the last announcement from Father Payne came over the PA, and it sounded different from the rest. He did not give us any new information. He simply urged us all to pray. Many of us began walking to the chapel, and I ended up walking beside Dr. Kinch, my favorite teacher. I remember saying to him, "I don't think all of us (my classmates) really understand what this means," but what I was really saying is, "Please tell me what's going on! I'm scared! What does this mean?" And he just shook his head with such gravity, I knew then that even Dr. Kinch -- the smartest guy I knew -- was lost and afraid. And that scared me even more.

Ten years later, I am no longer a teen. I'm married with a child of my own, a son who will have no memories of that day. And I ask myself the question we've all been asking, but this time I ask it for my son: Are we safer? Are we wiser?

And I wonder... I have this fantasy in my mind... maybe you'll think I'm naive or a silly idealist, but what if after 9/11, we had had an insurgence not of our forces, but with the love of Christ? I'm not saying we could have or even should have converted anyone to Christianity. I'm just saying, what if we had followed Jesus' advice on this one? What if we had, as Jesus commanded us in the Sermon on the Mount, loved our enemy and blessed those who persecuted us? What if we had spent every single dime of that 3.7 trillion dollars that we've sent overseas on blessing our enemies -- not on bombs, or on tanks, or on guns -- but only on educating their children, feeding their hungry, housing their homeless, clothing their naked, healing their sick, and visiting their imprisoned? What if we had trusted Jesus and followed his advice on this one? What if we had listened to his last command in the Garden of Gethsemane to put down our swords? What if we had turned the other cheek, walked the extra mile, and given our coat also? What if we trusted the Bible, which clearly tells us vengeance belongs only to God? What if we had followed Christ's command to overcome hate with love?

Instead, we did the very thing God told us not to do; we retaliated. We took vengeance into our own hands; we chose, instead, an eye for an eye, as if Jesus hadn't told us any better.

I believe in a living God that doesn't just speak pretty words to us; I believe in a God of Wisdom who's commands are Truth and who's commands are are more than just a nice thought; they work. And looking back, I think God knew how to handle this one better than we did. I wish we had followed God's advice on this one.

Ten years from the day, 9/11 continues. The families continue to suffer. We continue to remember. The bloodshed continues, and the death toll from all this warfare these past ten years has been equivalent to the Twin Towers falling down again twice more. Any wiser? I think not. Any safer? Hard to say.

But there is good news. Today at church in a wonderful service we lit candles of hope. We sang, "Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me." Rev. Ng reminded us of who we are as people of God and people of this great nation. The good news is although we need repentance, it's never too late to change course and follow God's commands. It's never to late to step out of this toxic climate of fear and division, to opt out of the cycle of violence and vengeance, and to step into God's grace. As Rev. Ng reminded us today, there was a time when slavery was just accepted as a part of the way the country worked, but now we know it to be an unnecessary evil. The same should be for warfare. Peace isn't just an idealists' dream; it's a real possibility and a command of God.

Practicing Gratitude

Recently, Rev. Paul Nickerson came to our church to do a workshop on Stewardship for us. The workshop was wonderful and very informative. One of his many suggestions was that Chris and I, as the church's pastors, make a goal of writing a handful of thank you notes every week to church members for all the many ways you are stewards of your time, treasures, and talents. I loved the idea. Why? First of all, I love stationary! Second of all, in the age of email and junk snail mail, I believe a handwritten thank you note communicates more gratitude than ever before. And most of all, I liked the idea because I have so much gratitude for my church family and all that they give the church.

So first, I went out and bought a box of thank you notes (a task that took entirely too long because of how much I love stationary). Then I began brainstorming a list of people to thank, and I was shocked to see how my list grew and grew and grew! Then, as I would start to write a thank you note to someone for something, I would be reminded of all the other things that person had done that also deserved thanks, and so what was supposed to be a short thank you card would grow until I was writing in tiny letters on the back of the card too. In addition, writing a thank you note to one person would often remind me of other people to thank who were either in that person's family, or who had done a similar kindness. After an hour of thank you notes, my hand was cramping and a single verse from the psalmist popped into my head, "My cup overflows."

Friends, I am filled with gratitude for all the ways in which the Holy Spirit is moving through the people of our church to give their kindness, give their time, give their talents, give their treasures -- in short, give themselves. So thanks be to you, my church family, and thanks be to God. Ultimately, isn't that's where all our gratitude and thanksgiving comes home -- to the heart of God? God is the Source of all our goodness and giving. At the end of a successful surgery, we thank the surgeon, but we also thank God who guided the surgeon, and without whom the healing would not be possible. Truly, God has prepared a table before us, in the presence of our enemies, anointed our heads with oil, and filled our cups until they have overflowed. (Psalm 23) And because my cup overflows -- overflows with the Love of Christ -- I can't help but pour out that love to my friends, my family, my church, my community, and my world. There simply is not enough room in my cup for the goodness of God!

Now, I know what you're thinking. Oftentimes, it's hard to say, "My cup overflows." When troubles come -- and they always come -- it's hard to see the banquet before us and sing words of praise and thanksgiving to others and to God. But Ephesians 5:20 says, "Give thanks always for all things." And first Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, "Rejoice always! ... Give thanks in everything, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." You might read those verses and think, "really God? Give thanks always, at all times? How is this even possible?" It is only possible with practice -- a lifetime of continual practice. Practicing gratitude means deliberately choosing to give thanks over and over again as a life-long discipline. But why choose this work? Because choosing to practice gratitude, to "count our blessings," forces us to see this world as it truly is; like our communion bread, it is both broken and blessed. We do not live in the Garden of Eden anymore, but we do live in a world saved by Jesus Christ, and that's something to be thankful for. Troubles come, but we are cared for by God through the kindness and giving of others, and that's something to be thankful for too. And besides, choosing to practice gratitude is not just some arduous discipline that must be done because thanks is needed where thanks is due; it is guaranteed to add immense joy to your own life.

So I challenge you too, to practice gratitude so that you may see and feel the world as it truly is: broken yet blessed. You can do this by beginning a gratitude journal, where you make a list of five things you're grateful for every day, no matter how bad the day or how small the blessings. You can do this by writing thank you notes every week. If you like to sing or play an instrument, why not sing or play one song of thanksgiving every day? In my house, we've made a family tradition of saying grace and thanking God every time we eat together. You'll probably find that once you start practicing gratitude, it's hard to stop. You just might find, like me, that your thank you note list is never-ending, that your cup overflows.