Grace and Truth – Continued (Ephesians 4:25-5:2)
Rev. Christine Ng
Rev. Christine Ng
Truth
– now there’s a loaded word. I blame the Enlightenment. From that point on, we
began confusing “truth” with “facts.” But they are not the same. Facts are a
kind of truth, but not all the truth – at least not “truth” in the Biblical
sense.
And
the other problem we have with the word “truth” is that we seem to equate it
with saying something someone else doesn’t want to hear. Think of some of the
words or phrases we use to describe “truth”: hard truth, unpleasant truth, truth or consequences (ooh, I’ve
dated myself there). . . But again, that’s only part of “truth.”
So
what is “truth?” Philosophers, theologians, religious mystics and others have
written and debated this question for millennia. So we’ll only scratch the
first layer of the question here – or we won’t get out in time to see the Super
Bowl – next year. But we can begin by looking at how Ephesians talks about it
as a vital part of what we as Christians are called to do – truth not just as a
“fact” but as a way of living.
Jesus
said, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life.” So as Christians, called to
follow the example of Christ, called to grow into the image of Christ, we are
called to be Truth. It seems like a
pretty impossible goal -- unless we realize that that is who we already are –
we’ve just forgotten. We just need to uncover the light of truth, the essence
of God, within us. And we need to look for that light of truth in each other.
Because it is our true nature.
In
the language of Ephesians, we need to “put away falsehood” and all other
spiritual clutter like bitterness, wrangling, slander, and malice. We need to
strip it away, like shedding old clothes to put on new ones – to be clothed in
Christ. Truth, then, is always
consistent with the compassionate purpose of God as revealed in Jesus Christ.
That’s
lofty talk – but what does it mean? I think it’s harder to understand in this
era we live in – where people Photoshop their vacation pictures, just like
actresses and fashion models in movies and magazines; where athletes “enhance”
their performances with drugs just to be able to compete. We live in a culture
full of false promises and false speech – where we almost expect our public
figures to play fast and loose with facts. People don’t tell lies anymore – we
“misspeak” or “exaggerate” or “exercise poor judgment.” It’s hard to know what
counts as “true” or why it even matters.
And when we hear in the media about the
“truth” exposed – news at 11 – it’s always used to tear something or someone
down. But that’s not the truth Jesus was talking about, that’s not the truth
Ephesians is talking about, and that’s not the truth the author of Psalm 86 was
talking about when he said, “teach me your way, O Lord, that I may walk in your
truth.”
Ephesians
makes it very clear – truth – gospel truth – doesn’t tear down – it builds
up: It builds up people, it builds
up relationships, it builds up community. “Let no evil talk come out of your
mouths, but only what is useful for building up as is needed, so that your
words may give grace to those who hear.”
Words have power, and each is a creative act. We can
use them to build up our family, our friends, our communities – or they can be
more like wrecking balls. Speech can either build or destroy. How often have
you heard some one say something hurtful, and justify it with, “well, I’m just
telling the truth”?
When
I was a teenager I used to baby sit for a little girl named Ginger. She had
terrible nightmares when she first saw a movie with something scary in it. It
was so real to her. She loved to play with blocks – and we would build great
cities – then pretend we were Godzilla or some other movie monster and stomp
through the city demolishing it. It was great fun – and done for the purpose of
helping a little girl with her nightmares – to teach her she didn’t need to be
afraid. So we knocked the buildings down – but built the little girl up. It was
play – we acted out a story – but it was full of grace and truth.
Do
we understand that each of our words is a building block? So we need to be
careful what we are building with it: Is it a pile of rubble or something more in
the image of Christ?
And
so we must speak with care and concern – not only for the truth that is being
told, but for how it will impact those who hear it. The biblical command to
“speak truth” doesn’t mean we must always speak what we perceive as truth.
There is ample room in the truthful life for silence, discretion, the keeping
of confidences, and even the pleasantries that enable social interaction.
Sometimes the truth of connection and relationship is a larger truth than any
small fact – and our silence communicates that truth.
And often, we feel sure we know the truth – know
“how it is,” what is “real,” what is “true.” But even science tells us that is
not exactly accurate. Eyewitness testimony is often the least reliable. Our
memories shift and change every time we recall them. And quantum physics
suggests that our perception of “reality” is not so “real” after all.
All of this just reconfirms what the Bible has
taught all along. We may strive to follow God’s truth, to be Truth as Christ was – but we’re not there yet. We’re human and
our humanity means that we can’t discern and speak the truth perfectly, we need
the help of God and others. We “see only partly” to use another biblical
phrase. Our search for truth, and practice of truth-telling is carried out by
folks who are finite and fallible. As one person wrote, “our experience of
truth is mediated – like treasure in clay pots – or more like truth [seen]
through clay souls.” Through the spiritual clutter the hides the light of truth
within us.
There is often an entire spectrum of truth, many
things that are true, and the choice to narrow our focus, to see or speak of
only one problem or flaw, means overlooking other truths – truths that should
be spoken. So we should be cautious about what we perceive and claim as truth –
and when and how we share it. As one writer put it, “truthfulness is demanded
from us about the things that we ought to speak about at all.” [Lewis Smedes]
Things that build up, that give grace. It has been said, “the worst kind of lie
is the truth told wrong.”
Gregory Jones, an ethicist and theologian, has gives
his students an exercise: They
monitor their speech for one week, keeping a record of every time they said
something that was not true or factual – and then reflect on the kinds of
untruths they told, the reasons they did so, and how they could have responded
more truthfully. It’s an exercise I recommend to you as well – it’s very
revealing.
As they go through the exercise, Dr. Jones’ class
soon realized that they would need to be quiet much more often as they
discovered many situations in which it was better not to speak, than to share a
hurtful truth or to utter statements that are not true.
This is what the letter to the Ephesians means by
“be angry but do not sin.” It doesn’t say, “don’t be angry, it isn’t Christian
to be angry.” Anger is natural, and often healthy. Instead, the letter warns
against the dangers that can accompany anger – which can cloud our judgment
about the truth and when to speak the truth. It takes patience and wisdom, and
prayer to know what we need to just live with for a time, and what should be
confronted.
Some questions can help us discern, like: For whom
is this truth helpful? Who benefits if it is told? Who is harmed? Why do we
want to speak? Will it give grace, help an individual or community build and
grow toward Christ?
Congregations often have trouble with “speaking the
truth in love.” We either shrink back from telling it because we don’t want to
drive people away, or we approach people with both guns blazing with our own
self-righteousness.
Like other close families and communities, we
sometimes operate with a version of “don’t ask, don’t tell.” We overlook or
accommodate patterns of behavior that ought to be challenged for the good of
the community and others in the community. But truthful words cannot stand
alone – they must be sustained and supported by a congregational life shaped in
gratitude for all the gifts of all members of the community and all live in
faithfulness to God and each other.
And because the tone and texture of our voice and
body language are important to what people hear, most difficult expressions of
truth-telling should be face to face. How often have situations been made worse
because of hastily written or misunderstood emails or text messages – which can
convey only the words – not how they were expressed – and so only part of the
truth.
And so we must take care, when speaking truth to
others in the community, to speak in such a way that the greater truth of our
love and shared commitment is communicated as well. William Sloane Coffin tells
the story of a student in one of his classes giving him this advice: “’Well, Sir, when you say something
that is both true and painful, say it softly.’ Say it, in other words, to heal
and not to hurt. Say it in love.” Or to use the words of Ephesians – say it to
give grace, to build up, not to tear down.
Lastly, walking in God’s truth, living truthfully, means
something more than just what we say – it’s what we do. When we say things
like, “she’s true to her word,” or “he’s true to himself,” we understand that
there is a connection between what someone says and does. Kierkegaard noted,
“when you do not do what you promise, it is a long way back to the truth.”
Truthful living involves following the Way of Christ in all things, not just
speech – it involves forgiveness, mutuality, patience. It involves helping
where there is need, sharing with others. Shedding or putting away all that
hides the light of God in Christ within us – within ourselves and within our
community – so it can shine out, communicating in myriad ways the truth of
God’s love and compassion and grace. That is the Way and the Truth and the Life
we are called to. Amen.
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