Day 13 -- Waiting

Meditation is a form of prayer that has never come very naturally to me, and I don't think it comes naturally to most people.  I would define meditative prayer as training yourself to be attentive and open to the Holy Spirit in the present moment.  The key word here is "training."  Because meditative prayer is practice, because it is training, very few of us begin the practice feeling we're already good at it, and so many quickly drop it in frustration.  I was the same way.

When I was in divinity school, many of my classmates, particularly those who where Buddhist, described over and over again how mindfulness meditation or meditative prayer had completely transformed their lives.  Curious about this mountain of testimonies, I tried to take it up yet again, but this time I stuck at it a bit longer and gave it a bit more of a chance.  Now I won't tell you that I'm an exemplary meditation practitioner; my practice with meditative mindfulness prayer is sporadic at best, but from what little I have managed to squeeze into my life, I've caught glimpses of its transformative effects, and I know what my classmates described is absolutely true.  Meditative prayer and mindfulness absolutely have the power to transform your very way of being in the world.  In fact, modern science has found this ancient practice is so transformative to people's overall happiness, that among mainstream psychologists and mental health professionals today, mindfulness meditation is commonly taught to patients as an effective treatment to combat depression.

There are many metaphors that people use to describe how people approach mindfulness meditation and prayer.  The most common one is the metaphor of the sky; you are to observe your thoughts and feelings in a curious and nonjudgemental way as if they were clouds floating across the sky of your mind.  Some days when you meditate your sky will be cloudier than others, some days it might even rain, but eventually, by simply acknowledging your thoughts and feelings with compassion but without engaging in them or entertaining them -- by simply letting them float on by, you will begin to find that the sky of your mind has less and less clouds and storms, and that you are left to simply enjoy the holiness and beauty of the present moment without being bogged down by the chatter of your mind.  

The sky metaphor has been useful to me, but a metaphor I personally use to describe how I feel when I'm practicing mindfulness prayer is that of waiting.  Waiting is also a key metaphor for Advent as we wait for the birth of Christ.  Let me explain: imagine yourself sitting on a bench on a train platform.  You've been waiting for the train to arrive for some time.  Suddenly, you think you might have heard a tiny noise in the distance.  In that moment, your ears perk up, all your thoughts about your to-do list and family drama stop, and your mind suddenly tunes itself to the present moment.  You are fully mindful and attentive the sights and sounds around you on the platform.  It is in these moments of attentive waiting that I feel most mindful, most grounded in the present moment;  I'm not ruminating on the hurts of the past or worrying about the troubles of tomorrow, but my eyes and ears are open and ready for whatever God is sending my way.

When someone says "waiting," negative connotations of standing in a long line immediately pop into my mind.  Waiting, however, can be a very spiritual, mindful, and rewarding practice.  When we tune our spirits to waiting and watching for Christ, our worries and hurts seem to melt away.  They don't matter any more.  All that matters is opening ourselves up and readying ourselves to the gifts that God is sending at any moment.  It is in these moments, that life isn't just passing us by, but that we are truly living it, and experiencing it's full holiness. It is in these mindful moments we can hear the insight of the Holy Spirit because we have managed to hush incessant chatter of our minds.  Prayer doesn't have to be just about God listening to you rattle off the Our Father and recite your wish list; prayer can also be about waiting for God to speak into your ear.  So take some time this Advent -- take some time today -- to just sit, wait and watch for Christ.

For more about mindfulness and explanation of this map, visit http://www.mindmapinspiration.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Mindfulness-MindMap.jpg